Henry is the Dungeon Master for the after school Dungeons and Dragons club. Today they all had a history test last period and the stress levels are high. So he wants to make this afternoon’s campaign extra fun.

He decides to turn things upside down. “On today’s quest, Freddy is the dragon. He is requesting rescue from Princess Lorelei. Blocking her way are ten tiny mushroom people. They are throwing jewels from the dragon’s lair. Accompanying Princess Lorelei is Toby, an elf, and Ava, a weaver. The group meets the mushroom people. A diamond flies through the air. Lorelei, roll to see what happens next.”

Lorelei rolls the many-sided die. “14!”

Henry continues the story, “The diamond bounces off a protective net, expertly woven by Ava.” Cheers all around. “Then, just when they think they are safe to advance through the gauntlet of mushroom people, a ruby gets through the net and slices Lorelei’s ear off.”

“Ew, Henry, that’s disgusting!” says Ava. “I thought this was supposed to be funny.”

“Dark humor,” mutters Toby. “It’s a thing.”

“Ava, just roll. We’ll see if Lorelei dies a gruesome death from A. blood loss or B. gangrene.” Henry smiles. “Just kidding. Roll though. We’ll see what happens.”

Ava rolls an 8. “Something else disgusting?” she asks.

“Nope,” says Henry. “Toby the elf uses his magic to heal her ear. The group sets off again.”

Freddy protests. “When do I get a part? I’m just sitting here like a lump waiting to be rescued.”

“Now you know how the princesses usually feel,” says Lorelei. “We’re supposed to look pretty and wait around. At least you have gold scales and can breathe fire. We just get fancy dresses, which are pretty uncomfortable if you ask me.”

Everyone laughs. But Lorelei continues. “Actually, Henry, I’m supposed to be a modern princess doing the rescuing in this scenario, and I can’t help but notice that Ava and Toby have done things to help us, and I’m just here bleeding out.”

“Patience, patience,” chuckles Henry. “You want an awesome part, Lorelei? Here you go. The princess pulls off her fancy, uncomfortable dress and underneath she is covered in feathers. She is actually the Bird Queen of the North. She has a beak that can snap a man in half and talons that can move mountains.”

“That’s more like it!” Lorelei cheers.

“I’m still waiting…” Freddy chimes in.

“Toby it’s your turn to roll. We’ll see if Lorelei eats the mushroom people or crushes them with the gems they’ve stolen.”

“How about both!” shouts Ava.

“Now who’s being gruesome?” laughs Lorelei. Ava laughs too.

“Five!” says Toby.

“Both, both, both!” they all chant.

“Ok,” says Henry. “Princess Lorelei, er, I mean, Bird Queen Lorelei uses her talons to crush the mushroom people with the gems. Then she eats them. The merry band of adventurers casts off their protective net and runs towards the dragon…”

Freddy rolls a 13.

“…who burns them all to death with his fiery flames!”

“Yes!” shouts Freddy.

“It was a trap!” says Ava.

“More dark humor?” asks Toby with a smirk. They are all laughing now.

“Dark or not, I got us all to laugh after that killer test,” says Henry. They pile on top of him and lift him up. “Best. Dungeon Master. Ever!”