Chef Pierre was the greatest chef in the land. At least he thought so. "I am the greatest chef in the land," he said. Often. To anyone who would listen.

So it was no surprise that when Queen Penelope needed a new Chef Royale, Pierre applied for the job. “I will make my famous frog legs for the queen,” Pierre announced to his kitchen assistants, Slice and Dice. “They will be the plumpest, juiciest frog legs imaginable.”

In order to make the plumpest, juiciest legs, he needed the plumpest, juiciest frog. Chef Pierre was busy doing great things, so he sent Slice and Dice down to the pond to catch the frog. Slice and Dice were very good at chopping vegetables. They were very good at stirring soup. They were not very good at catching frogs. 

When they got to pond, the plumpest, juiciest frog imaginable was sitting in the middle.  “That’ll be the one he wants,” said Slice. “I’ll crawl out on this branch and shoo it to shore.” 

“And I’ll catch it in this net as soon as it hops on the bank,” said Dice.

But, as Slice crawled out on the branch, the frog jumped into the pond. Sploosh! And Slice fell in after him. Splash! The plumpest, juiciest frog has escaped. 

“OK,” said Dice, when Slice was safely ashore. “This time I’ll row you out to the middle of the pond in this boat. Then you can catch it in this net.”

But, as Slice leaned over the side of the boat with the net, the frog jumped into the pond. Sploosh! And Slice fell in after him. Splash! The plumpest, juiciest frog has escaped. Again.

“New plan,” said Dice, after he hauled Slice back into the boat. “We forget about that frog and go eat those oranges over there.” And they did.

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Chef Pierre was pacing the floor.  “Where are those no good assistants with my plumpest, juiciest frog?” he fumed. He stomped off to the pond. When he arrived, he saw Slice and Dice sitting under the orange tree eating marmalade on toast.   

“You’re fired!” he roared as they licked their fingers. He jumped in the boat and rowed toward the frog. “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself,” he said.

Chef Pierre got to the middle of the pond just as Queen Penelope was coming over the hill. “Your Majesty,” he shouted. “I will make you my greatest specialty!” 

He leaned over the side of the boat and scooped up the plumpest, juiciest frog into the net. “I’ve got it!” he announced. But then . . . the frog jumped into the pond. Sploosh! And Chef Pierre fell in after him. Splash!

Queen Penelope looked down at Pierre sitting in the water.  “I, sir, am a vegetarian,” she said in disgust. She joined Slice and Dice on the bank of the pond where she enjoyed a rather nice marmalade sandwich.

As you might guess, Slice and Dice are now the official Chefs Royales. Pierre has a new job too. He is the official Frog Keeper. Sploosh!